Eponine's Stalking- er, I mean, Tracking Services
by 321Haruko123
Summary: Ever had one of those days where you're walking down the street and catch a glimpse of the love of your life, one minute there and then they are gone? When this happens, do you ever think, "Dang it, I sure could've used an Eponine back there..." Well, look no further! Eponine is here to do the stalking, I mean, tracking, so you don't have to! Random idea I had. Enjoy!


**Eponine's Stalking- er, I mean, Tracking Services**

Don't know what I'm talking about by tracking services? Well then, lend us your eyes and ears and find out! It would be hard to find this information anywhere else, so pay attention!

So, have you ever had one of those days where you are walking down a busy city street, or sitting on a bench in a lovely park, and then you suddenly look up and lock eyes with the most gorgeous man or woman you have ever seen? What is there in that person's glace? Nothing, and yet everything. It is a glance that causes a flower to blossom, producing both perfume and poison. Why am I talking about flowers? Well, it's a certain author's way of describing love. Sort of.

So this toxic smelly love flower has just bloomed, so I guess that's great, but here's the horrible part. That gorgeous person that caused it to bloom in the first place? One minute there, then they are gone, disappeared, vanished into thin air, and you have absolutely no clue how or where to find them! Yeah, that's when you'll start to think, "Oh, woe is me! I didn't live until today, and yet my life is totally over until I find them! God darn it, I sure can use an Eponine right now!"

Well, my friend, you've just said the magic words, 'cause this is the part where ol' 'Ponine comes in. Whether she refers to herself as a Thenardier or a Jondrette, this girl has got some great experience when it comes to finding people, strangers or not. All you need to do is describe the object of your desire to her, and tell her, "Eponine, do this for me, discover where s/he lives... 'Ponine, I'm lost until s/he's found!" After all, you don't want to come across as some creepy pervert to the love of your life, now, would you? She'll do the stalking, so you won't have to!

And before you know it, she'll come back with the news that she has found that wonderful person, and the two of you will be able to sing together to your hearts' content, for they will be so full of love forever, won't they? As for price, well, that will all depend on the situation. Sometimes she may charge extra depending on how far and long she'll have to search, and sometimes she may not accept any pay from you. But really, haven't we learned from various books and fairytales that no price is too much to find your true love?

Eponine's Tracking Services: She'll do the stalking, so you don't have to!

**Tips and warnings:**

Address: Gorbeau House in the run-down area of Paris. Phone #: ...you kidding me?

You may find her wearing a not-too-convincing boy disguise.

Eponine's hours are unpredictable, so there's no guarantee that she won't be running from the police or in jail when you need to contact her.

Remember that Eponine is a stalker- I mean tracker, not a love letter ghost writer! However, the words she can write ("The police are coming") may prove handy in case you just so happen to be a witness to a crime, especially if the father of the love of your life is being held hostage by Eponine's family.

Don't be surprised if you catch Eponine walking around, singing in dramatic rain that comes out of nowhere. She does that sometimes. (Eponine: "I'm singin' in the rain...!")

Eponine may or may not develop creepy stalker-ish feelings for you. Not unlike the feelings you are feeling for that person you only saw once. Better check frequently for any letters from your true love she may have hidden from you.

Don't be surprised if she also sings a counterpoint in any songs that you and your true love so happen to sing when you find each other at last.

Eponine is not immune to bullets. Just because she's tough, that doesn't make her Superwoman. Should she be fatally injured, just cradle her in your arms and sing to her while that dramatic rain from out of nowhere falls around you. (Also, use this opportunity to get said hidden letter mentioned above.)

Should the above happen, all memory of what she did for you will erase itself from your mind so that you will have only happy memories with your true love to occupy it. (What was that? Who helped me find my Shmoopy-Doo in the first place...? Oh, I know... nah, I got nothing.)

^Wait... who is Eponine again?


End file.
